Posted in faith

Uprooting a piece of your identity is not a natural thing to do. And it’s extra hard, and virtually impossible, to do on your own… in your own strength.

Hallelujah for Philippians 4:13. Through Christ.

I get so frustrated with myself sometimes. Pretty sure the act is a little common when there is this seemingly constant conflict between flesh and spirit in the life of a Christian.

I am an expressive individual. I am quite the communicator, and being such a passionate person the things inside me tend to flow out of my mouth like waves. I also have this insane need for things to be resolved — for the thoughts I express to be understood, and for understanding of what another person may be trying to express to me.

This then sometimes leaves me feeling like I’m overtalking, impulsive, like I haven’t listened, and that I lack self-control. Not a fabulous feeling.

These things the Lord began revealing to me at the beginning of this school year, and it has been an underlying nudging ever since.

I want to be a woman who doesn’t waste a word. I want to be intentional with my words. 

“Quick the listen, slow to speak” the Bible says.

Waiting. Being patient in conversations, in interactions. Giving the Holy Spirit space and time to guide, direct and prompt me. This space also gives me to opportunity to ask for wisdom from the Lord, insight and understanding into the heart of the person I’m talking with.

It dawned on me recently that maybe it can also be a lesson about endurance. My life tends to be characteristic of bursts. Bursts of emotion, joy, passion, growth, stress, change, understanding, knowledge, work, etc. And that’s not to say that kind of life is wrong… but maybe it’s more about having a life characterized by endurance. Grand leaps are tiring. Small steps are consistent.

Endurance. Steadiness. Perseverance. Strength. Courage. Tenacity.

“I would like to be known as an intelligent woman, a courageous woman, a loving woman, a woman who teaches by being.”
— Maya Angelou




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