I pray every day she will come to see God as her greatest decision and lifelong pursuit but the decision is hers, not mine.
Confession. As a helper and fixer, I will probably wrestle often before God that I can’t control my daughter’s choices or that I have limits. She’ll fail, make mistakes, excel and learn different things in different ways from me. She will grow up with her own heart, mind, desires, fears and weaknesses. And I must trust God with her. I can’t force her to love God or His Word. Salvation is the Lord’s to give, not mine.
But what IS in my control is what she sees in me.
That’s both weighty and wonderful. Her unique soul was born into our family to disciple, raise, love, teach and care for. A match-up born in the heart of God. The responsibility and the gift of it all! Heavens.
In the past 11 humbling months of preparing for and becoming a mom, a few hopes have risen above the rest.
(Let’s be real though, it’s more like, God, this is what I want for myself, but also the life I want my daughter to glimpse, the fire I hope she catches and keeps burning.)
- I want her to see a woman fully and joyfully alive in her faith.
- I want her to see a woman who takes God at His Word.
- I want her to see a woman practicing holiness and grace.
- I want her to see a woman pursuing deep connection when her introvertism screams to do what’s easier.
- I want her to see a woman always open before her Father, talking and listening, dependent on His Spirit.
- I want her to see a woman content and free in Christ, brave enough not to compare or compete with others.
- And I want her to see a woman leaving a legacy of Spiritual fruit, not simply impressive achievements or popularity in the eyes of others.
Following Jesus will be her choice, not mine. But I believe it’s my job and joy to show her He is worth it, and the greatest adventure, help and love of her life.
Holy Spirit, help us.