My mom sent me a picture of a piece of paper. After looking at it and weaving through a fog of memories, I do remember being asked before my high school graduation to write a letter to myself. Turns out my high school still has them, and mailed them out to the parents of each student. (Pretty cool, I think)
What I wrote, months before I would graduate from the school I’d been attending for 10 years, before I would leave the comfort of being in a place where everyone knew me, where I had grown so much, was that in five years….
“I plan to be graduated from college.” Check. (Actually did it in four, glory to the Lord.)
“I would like to try and compete at the Olympic level.” Didn’t happen. Foot injury forced me out of collegiate track and field. I’ll admit that this one stung my heart some. But, I trust God in His love and sovereignty; He is bigger and so are His plans for me.
“I want to be stronger in my faith and my walk with the Lord than I am today.” Check. I have never felt so near to Him, and by His grace I have grown and matured in the things of His Word.
“And God-willing, I want to be on the way to starting a life with the guy God has planned for me.” In faith, I say check. I think my relationship with J is in a wonderful place, rich in love and learning and growth. He’s the man that will continually direct me to Jesus, who loves me, and he’s the man I choose everyday.
“Remember: Some people are to be around always, some are to always make appearances.” How did I know that a piece of inspiration like this would be so relevant to this season of my life. How did I know that remembering this, even if the reality is hard, would bring such comfort. It also calls for an element of trusting Jesus – to be my hope and my peace and my everything – during such a time of change and transition.
“My foot is broke and I’m in a cast. How will I react?” Mmm. Who knew that would only be the beginning to such a trying season for me. How did I react? I struggled deeply at first, after my first surgery freshman year, experiencing a slight depression. After that I was still motivated, still ready to fight. I worked hard, only to be stunted with the need for three more surgeries over a span of 3.5 years. After the third one (3 out of 4) I was weary, and went through a weird season of not knowing where my true identity was found. By His grace, the One who unconditionally loves my human soul reminded me that in Him is where it is found. Here I am today, giving myself grace, reminding myself to be patient, rediscovering my love for running, and trusting Him to be that which fills my entire life.
For all [these] things are [taking place] for your sake, so that the more grace (divine favor and spiritual blessing) extends to more and more people and multiplies through the many, the more thanksgiving may increase [and redound] to the glory of God. 2 Corinthians 4:15