Fall might be my favorite season. Amidst crazed weekends centered around football, and all the festivals that seem to break out, and school getting busy, for me, it still seems like time slows in the Fall. It’s wonderful.
I’m in an interesting place. One of Bible-diving, Holy Spirit-asking, wisdom-seeking, inward and upward-looking moments. Finding a balance between caring too much and caring too little. A battle of my heart’s focus — is it me? or is it God?
I’m the woman who analyzes motivations. I overthink my intention for doing something. Everything. This can be helpful, in terms of conviction and will and self control and the like… but is a stumbling block when it comes to resting, trusting, freedom, believing Grace.
J encouraged me to create my own “goals/boundaries.” Take fitness and eating: I analyze every choice, usually resulting in guilt, comparison, or a pat on my own back. (Both are not okay. One is a complainer, the other is a campaigner. That’s for another conversation). Instead, I can say,
I’m going to exercise 4-6 times a week. If it’s three one week, “Hey, I want to try and make more time for that next week.” If it’s 6, “Sweet!” And with food…
I’m going to give myself three meals as freebie meals, whatever I want to eat. I guarantee Chick-fil-A breakfast will become a weekly occurrence. :) The other nights I’m going to do my best to eat more intentionally, cleaner.
Or social media. If my goal/intent is to share bits and pieces of my life with close friends I don’t see often, and I know they keep up with my photos, it doesn’t matter how many I post! I can freely share however much I want, and the people who are bothered by it can unfollow me. Right?
My truest intent for my activity on social media is creative expression, and story-telling.
To be sometimes inspired by lovely, God-fearing, strong women on Twitter. Expressing my passion for capturing moments on Instagram. Keeping up with across state friends on Facebook. If I ever feel like I am out of that circle, then maybe I need to ask myself some questions.
In J’s words, it broadens the scope, so you don’t feel like you have to analyze every single small choice, but can look at it in a different light. It welcomes a certain kind of freedom into life. It will limit the amount of moments I find myself comparing myself to others, because I met the goal I wanted to reach, and it was/is enough. The thought-energy and focus that would otherwise be turning wheels in overanalyzation can be used in other, more life-giving areas. Hallelujah! I think it’s a cool idea, and am currently brainstorming and asking the Lord for wisdom on how to implement it into my life.
“If the vessel of our soul is still being tossed by winds or storms, we should wake the Lord who has been resting with us all along, and He will swiftly calm the sea.” Brother Lawrence
