This month will be ten months of marriage for J and I. We’ve learned a great deal but still have long way to go… which is exciting and unknown. A habit that marriage began, and continues, to create in me in continual communication and dependence on the Lord. In a moment I want to be prideful, or selfish, or impatience… I lean. I ask God for peace, for compassion, for grace, for extra doses of love. I ask Him to help us grow together, to love deeper, to understand each other, to forgive each other. I ask Him to remind me of all His blessings, His gifts, His favor. And I ask Him for the strength to choose love, to choose humility. To pray, stay, and play…
We pray. I use to struggle with this. I can pray out loud amidst a group of people, but there’s something about praying out loud on the spot with one other person that ignites some major vulnerability! But… I’ve learned how unified I feel, how intimate it is. It invites God to take part in our moments, in our days. I learn the depths of his heart’s joys and worries when I ask him how I can pray for him. I learn how to be honest, open, and vulnerability when I talk to God with J listening. Us talking to God together creates a space of peace, comfort, change, grace, joy.
We play. Marriage takes effort. If our marriage feels like a chore, or lifeless job, it’s going to be difficult for me to love well. J and I genuinely enjoy hanging out together. This morning he was struggling to get out of bed so I sat on him and tickled him until he fell completely off the bed. We laughed, teased, and chose to make the most of the moment. We often talk about silly things, he teases me when I need cheering up, we enjoy similar activities. This makes the day in and day out enjoyable — it makes grocery shopping less mundane. We go on adventures, we go on spontaneous dates, we play games. We play together.
Our mouths were filled with laughter; our tongues sang for joy. Then it was said among the nations, “The LORD has done great things for them.” (Psalm 126:2)
We stay. When he’s bummed or sad or upset or confused, I ask God for the wisdom to know what J needs me to be in those moments. His presence alone can make me feel lighter and/or better, so I trust that it does the same for him. I stay. I don’t shy away from his honesty, I don’t leave him to sort through problems himself (unless he asks), and I don’t run away when I am upset or hurt. I stay. I talk, I listen, I comfort, I cheer up. And he for me. We’re available for each other. We pray for attentiveness, awareness, faith, guidance.
These are three pillars that have surfaced in our 9 months of marriage, and I plead with God to graciously continue to strengthen, deepen, and growth them.
Have you learned anything new within your marriage recently? For those that are not married, something new about loving people?