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Loving My Husband When We’re Both Busy And Worn Out

10/23/2015 · In: marriage

You know the weeks — there’s something to attend or do every single night, there’s laundry and dishes that need to get done, the days are long, and the evenings are spent catching up in tidbits. These weeks aren’t bad; they’re common and regular. It’s not that we don’t laugh or talk or kiss, but by Friday I feel weary and numb almost. There are so many tasks I want to do that will make me feel better: wash the dishes, do the laundry, vacuum, etc, but then I’m almost unmotivated to do any of it because I want to only rest and have some fun (and to have some uninterrupted time to look into my man’s eyes and talk and hang out with him). On the way to work this morning I was taking inventory of the week — how I reacted, how I responded, what I was thinking, etc. Do I love J well even in the busy, mundane weeks? How do I prioritize in the midst of a week like this?  How better can I be? (Attitude, demeanor, thoughts.)

Loving J when the week is busy and we’re both worn out….

— Flirting with him. Even if it’s simple and small, it makes us both smile.

— Praying together. Whether it’s a short dinner prayer or one as we are falling asleep. The reality that we are continually praying for each other is a strengthening thing.

— Thinking before I speak. When I’m stressed or tired or overwhelmed, I am moody. Which usually results in a particular tone of voice that isn’t kind. Taking a couple minutes before I speak, or walking into another room to ask out loud, “God help me not be horrible, help me love.” (this happens with me)

— Telling him how thankful I am for him. He is a wonderful person. He works diligently, he seeks wisdom, he takes care of me, and he serves wholeheartedly. He’s not perfect, but he deserves to know how grateful I am for him, how much I admire and respect him.

— Serving him. Sometimes with this one I have to ask, ‘How can I help you with this?’ Other times, like last night, it was about presence. We got home from a quick dinner out, and he had some work to do that he wasn’t terribly excited about. Instead of going and doing my own thing, I sat in there with him and read. Being in the same room together, me occasionally asking how he was doing or if he needed anything, was quality time (even though it didn’t seem like it).

Praise the Lord for grace. It meets us both where we are, it prompts us to love and kindness, and it’s cause for joy even in busy weeks.

— Have you ever been in a position like this?

— How do you handle busy, overwhelming weeks?

By: Chelsea Eubank · In: marriage

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Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Joy says

    10/23/2015 at 1:36 pm

    Ahh yes, those are the weeks when it gets so easy to get moody and short. Since buying our house in June, when we aren’t working, we are doing house projects late into the night. It’s easy to throw a new project at him right when he walks in the door. And not having the energy to cook has left us with far too many frozen dinners eaten in front of the TV.
    BUT… in the midst of it, telling each other how thankful we are for each other, and remembering not to take each other for granted makes it all a little sweeter. Love these tips, Chelsea! Serving him is one I hope to work on and get better and better at.

  2. Jenny says

    10/23/2015 at 2:40 pm

    Reading along with this post and agreeing with every. single. word. It’s been a busy past two months, and I’ve just been so tired. There are so many little things I want to get done – my bathroom needs to be cleaned SO BAD – but doing these list of things to love my husband well is so much more important. Thanks for sharing!

  3. Olivia Youngs says

    10/23/2015 at 3:39 pm

    These tips are so important! It’s so hard to remember to love your spouse when you’re exhausted or busy. I feel like days that are open and stress free are rare- so it’s important to remember to be intentional with how you love them. Thanks for the reminder!

  4. Chelsea B.E. says

    10/23/2015 at 4:45 pm

    Amen, Jenny. Thankfully we’re all a work in progress! And a new day is always around the corner. :)

  5. Anna | SheisJoyful says

    10/24/2015 at 12:36 pm

    saving this <3 I love this so much! It's definitely harder to love others well when we've had a rough week.

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I'm Chelsea... a wife, mom and friend passionate about cultivating a rich life with God.

This blog is equal parts family stories, faith reflections and creative delight.

I read a lot. I eat peanut butter every day. I like shopping secondhand. I love hosting people in our home.

Writing helps me pay attention, and paying attention keeps me grateful.

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