“Idolatry is when you become the source of your own joy. Poverty of spirit is a wonderful thing.” Paul Washer

I’m pretty sure I’ve been slightly addicted to television. Or maybe not television, but the comfort of having my attention satisfied.

I could hardly be in silence.

Whether I was exercising, cleaning, creating, I almost needed a movie or show going. Or thought I needed. I had to be entertained.

It was almost like I couldn’t survive in the quiet, or the seemingly boring.

This, in turn, if I’m honest, made me mentally weak. In exercise, when I was tired, in making disciplined choices. It caused me to be distracted more easily when I was cleaning, to stop and watch for a few minutes at a time.

The worst part was that my mind became consumed with images of tv shows or movies, and I didn’t have much clarity of thought. Then, Holy Spirit started working something beautiful in me: a real treasuring of God, a real admiration for humanity.

Slowly, worldly entertainment began to lose its luster. I would turn on tv shows, get 15 minutes in, and be bored with the show! I’d even grumble about it.

Before, I thought the tv was a solution to my boredom. Now, I’m almost bored watching the tv!

There is a longing growing within me for deeper things. For sweeter things. I yearn for that which fills me up and refreshes me. Books, prayer, music, time outside, conversations with friends.

Isn’t it amazing? God has changed me.

I still have shows I enjoy watching. And movies are a way J and I unwind. But the unnecessary tv noise? It numbs me. I don’t like how I feel afterwards.

There is a quote by Paul Washer that I found relevant…

Avoid trivial pursuits. You are a child of God, destined for glory, and called to do great things in His Name…. Do not throw away the precious moments of your life on entertainment, movies, and video games. Though some of these things can properly have a ‘small place’ in the Christian’s life, we must be careful not to give undue attention to temporal and fruitless activities. Do not waste your life. Employ the time of your youth in developing the character and skills necessary to be a useful servant of God.

These are strong words. I definitely don’t think entertainment is bad in and of itself, but I had made it an ultimate thing.. an activity I turned to first for satisfaction and inspiration.

The more I sought His face, the more I asked for Him to change the desires of my heart, He did. Conviction set in, why are you looking for a seemingly constant but actually very flat joy in this television entertainment? When you know exactly Who the source of all true and never-ending joy and happiness? 

It’s just me though. If you love watching Netflix for hours, and you and Jesus are rocking and rolling, I’m happy with and for you!

But I needed a change. A change that greatly affected my soul, and my intimacy with my Father.

Praise Him.