I’m taking a break from social media through the end of the year. And borrowing ‘retreating and reentering’ from a recent Desiring God article. Here’s a little backstory (feel free to skip to the end, you won’t hurt my feelings).
First, we had our daughter. Psalm 23:1 ran through my mind as often as wondering what Anna had going on next. And when hormones seemed to overwhelm me, God kept saying ‘Include Me.’
Then, there was deciding to stop working outside our home. I asked and waited. I read this prayer and wanted so badly to stick close beside God in the decision-making, instead of lagging behind or running far ahead.
Then, upon my husband’s prompting, I went away by myself for a night. The goal was refreshment, and my hope was uninterrupted time with the Lord for a fresh vision of my life as a wife and mom. I had just finished reading my first book of the year, and my mind was lodged on these words: Every day is a collection of moments, 86,400 seconds in a day. How many of them can you live with God? Start where you are and grow from there. God wants to be with you every moment.
Then, motherhood stirred a deep desperation and desire to know the Father’s voice like I had never known before.
Then, I realized how overwhelmed I was with all the opinions, thoughts and teachings of others (good things!). My soul was overwhelmed and tense from trying to field it all.
Then, the Holy Spirit gifted me with what felt like a mountain of clarity and conviction about my heart habits, and I turned onto an entire new path. At first it was uncomfortable, super cloudy and not pretty. I made a few big changes to my daily rhythms. I had tasted and seen the Lord and I was not willing to let go. Maybe you’ve had moments like that.
Then, COVID happened and we moved and I began a new adventure. All requiring new attention, new wisdom, new space.
Phew.
All that led me to a realization:
My path with and to God is cluttered with a few unnecessary obstacles, and I spend more time stopping at, stumbling over or wrestling through them than I do knowing God.
Along with the psalmist, I prayed “Help me release all I need to let go of, and lay hold of all you have for me.” (Psalm 51:12)
It’s been almost 2 weeks not listening to any podcasts (which is huge for me because I tend to fill every spare moment with other voices), and the space in my mind is ridiculous. He then opened the door for another place of retreat: social media.
I hesitated before Him because I just started with Beautycounter and Instagram is a fun means of sharing details; but it’s not the only way, and He provides what we need when we need it.
He’s inviting me afresh to find in Him everything, and I (though clumsily and imperfectly) want it so badly, but my soul needs more breathing room.
So, the blog announcement.
I still echo A.W. Tozer when it comes to writing, “Others before me have gone much farther into these holy mysteries than I have done, but if my fire is not large it is yet real, and there may be those who can light their candle at its flame.” Truly, the best I can give you is Jesus. So whether 5 people or 25 people read this blog, I can be faithful to share my life and Biblical truth in a way that gives God glory. (And it brings me a lot of joy.)
That being said, it’s a honor and a gift you read my blog. Thank you, truly. For almost as long as it has existed, my goal with this blog has been to document my story of life with God and to encourage you in yours. This will always be a major reason I write here, but moving forward I plan to add more posts about family life, clean beauty, making a home, stewardship, simplicity, discipleship, healthy living and creativity.
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