May was an unusual month for me, but I wouldn’t realize it until I woke up on June 1st.

Unless it’s a freelance graphic design job, my creative projects don’t have hard deadlines. A draft could sit for weeks. I could go days without checking social media. There’s no pressure to create anything. May was different. I launched a new project within my Beautycounter work, a graphic subscription service, and I was working on a big writing project due at the end of the month. For the first time in a long while, maybe since Anna was born, I had expectations on my creative thinking. Both enjoyable efforts, but genuine deadlines.

It wasn’t until I woke up on the first day of June, having submitted the writing project and established a rhythm with Clean Beauty Creative, that I realized my personal habits were terrible. I couldn’t remember the last time I had exercised, all 2 hours of nap time were spent staring at the computer screen, and I was relying on caffeine more than usual. I didn’t love how I felt. And I certainly know that for my soul, it was not a sustainable lifestyle.

So I did what I always do when I need a reset or have honest thoughts that need to be processed, I take to a journal. A few days later, with Emily P. Freeman’s timely questions, the Holy Spirit helped me craft new goals for the summer.

To borrow Emily’s phrase, my summer posture / hope / desire is heart sustainability, helped by practices of silence and simplicity.

Maybe you know Proverbs 4:23, ‘Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.’ The heart is the reservoir, and change must begin there. If the reservoir is polluted, it does no good to fix the pipes and the valves. (via) The metaphor implies, not only that life has its fountains in the heart, but also that the direction which it takes is determined by the heart. (Waltke)

There is endurance and perseverance and stretching and then there is a lack of intentionality that creates scarcity and exhaustion. The latter is where I find myself. I’m referring to it as my ‘triple S summer’ and in humility asking God for grace and fullness and wisdom. I’ll keep you posted.

Here are Emily’s questions if you’d like to consider them yourself. It’s only June 9th. :)

• What do you want your summer posture to be?
• What invisible thoughts, beliefs, obsessions, addictions, or mindsets will keep you from leaning into your intended summer posture?
• What needs your attention?
• This summer, where can you choose your absence, what can you skip?
• How do you want to plan your presence in your body, in your soul, and in your spirit?
• What would be inner-life-giving?
• Where will you look for God?