We arrived home yesterday from the beach, and it was one of the most unexpected trips ever. Because I spent at least half of the time in the bed sick with who-knows-what. From early Sunday morning to Wednesday night, I had HOURS of sickness, even more hours of exhaustion and depletion, and ate minimal food. Lost almost 9 pounds and spent only about 3 hours on the beach. I cried with disappointment. Our family took incredible care of and joy in Anna while I was out of commission. I smiled so much seeing Anna’s fun in the water. And I’ve never been so thankful for such a caring and attentive husband. I also prayed A LOT.
A few thoughts post worst-sickness-of-my-life (and I’m not the dramatic type)…
My two bouts of major sickness were 24 hours apart. During the second, I prayed SO fervently for relief and it was hours before even a shade of it came. I ask God, why? No real answer. But, on the way home, I realize maybe the silence and the lack of answered prayer (the way I wanted it) was to remind me that EVEN IF ‘xyz,’ what is true of God is always true. I found comfort there.
God welcomes my honesty — sadness, disappointment, gratitude, weariness — all of it. I didn’t have the energy to read the Bible or meditate on more than what was accessible in my stored knowledge of God. It was also quite challenging to sit in the tension and unpleasantness of my honesty. Truth.
I have some SWEET family who loved on our daughter in the best kind of ways. What a gift.