self-control opens us up to receive more

Confession: I’m a bit of a bag lady.

I probably get it honest. My mom and her mom are both purse women. For the last few years I have a longstanding rule that if I want a new purse I must give away or sell one I already own. This keeps my closet from excess and forces me to pause and decide if I want it bad enough to give away one I already have and enjoy (which is 95% the case).

At two points over the last few weeks, I got caught up in a whirlwind of an hours’ long online shopping spell. I felt the undercurrent of impulsiveness and even the knowing that this ‘desire’ for something new was more a bandaid for boredom or security than it was meeting a genuine need. Self control won out and no dollars left my bank account.

Later in the day, I was doing puzzles with Anna, breathing gratitude to God for a playroom with cozy carpet and big windows to see the rain coming down outside and her easy laughter. Facing down the fragility and sweetness of life. In minutes, I was overcome with a sense of His love. I was entirely filled by it and could almost visibly see it tumbling over toward Anna. It was SO much better than any new something.

It lead me to this thought:

The practice of discipline, of abstaining, of retreating from the cultural norm, of self-control… whether it be shopping or screens or busy schedules… afford us great opportunities to receive and savor the love of God and realize that it’s more than enough.

May it be said of us, that we regularly say no to visible indulgences of the world so we can open ourselves up to more invisible encounters with God.