Psalm 139. New and too-familiar. Powerful and comforting. Often used and often unheeded. It’s also the psalm I find myself rehearsing most since becoming a mom.

I like the Living Bible translation,

This is too glorious, too wonderful to believe! I can never be lost to your Spirit! I can never get away from my God! If I go up to heaven, you are there; if I go down to the place of the dead, you are there. If I ride the morning winds to the farthest oceans, even there your hand will guide me, your strength will support me. If I try to hide in the darkness, the night becomes light around me. For even darkness cannot hide from God; to you the night shines as bright as day. Darkness and light are both alike to you. (6-12)

Whether I’m dressed to go out or still in my pajamas at 11am.

Whether I’m on a stage or playing with blocks on the floor.

Whether I’m up before the sun enjoying the quiet with my Bible and tea or quoting half-verses to myself in the middle of the afternoon.

Whether I’m hosting play dates or meeting at the park or dealing with a stomach bug.

Every moment, high or low, pretty or messy, strong or weak, can be a moment of connecting with God. This gives me purpose in the hidden moments and comfort in the exhausting hours and delight in the ordinary (tbh, sometimes boring, I can only draw so many cats.) minutes.

We can never be lost to His Spirit. Even when we feel lost in the challenge or repetition or vastness or wonder of the present season.

And I join throngs of other women and men placed purposefully in hiding, who are also in training to be passionate lovers of God. They are cleaning toilets, punching time cards, changing bedpans, fielding criticism, and battling fatigue. With the opportunity to find Him in the midst of it all. No moment is too small, too insignificant to hide in God and waste time with Him. God loves to hide us. Behind circumstances and callings and misjudgments and scorn from even the dearest of friends, He hides us. We may feel veiled and unnoticed, but God is training us to turn our eyes toward Him, to find Him there. Our hidden places aren’t signs of God’s displeasure or punishment. The psalmist says that the one “who dwells in the secret place of the Most High” has a refuge and a fortress in God (Ps. 91:1). God doesn’t banish us to this hidden place. He invites us. And finding God in the secret can teach a heart to sing.

Sara Hagerty