There’s a tension between wanting to be seen by all and wanting to be seen by the right people. And that’s true even without the internet.
Why am I here? Why have an “online” anything at all if I’m not actively working to get as many eyeballs on it as possible? For example, I’m never on my personal Instagram account to share these posts and I’m only on Facebook for the marketplace and to share podcast episodes and the occasionallllll blog post.
Writing is not my profession. Or even my hobby. It’s more my therapy. An exercise that brings me joy.
Maybe it’s a loaves and fish situation. (John 6)
Like I’ve said for so many years, writing helps me pay attention and paying attention keeps me grateful. This blog, and all it encompasses, feeds me like food does. To me, it’s worthy of doing, no matter how many others see it. It energizes me, inspires me, keeps me soul-healthy, makes me happy.
But God is the one who can make it feed others. If and when they need it.
Because right now, the not needing this work to be something more (something that makes money or has a vast reach or is highly ranked) is a grace and gift. For others, the desire, need, calling is different. And it’s good for them.
Lilias Trotter wrote, “How childish it must seem to them, up in heaven, when we treasure the importance of a thing by its size.”
This space is my loaves and fish. It’s enough if it only feeds me, but in reality, that’s not all it can be. God can do with this offering whatever He wants.
I’m here for that adventure.
(And if you’re here then I’m delighted about that also.)
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